i'm struggling with using my time. Even when (especially when?) I have lots of it.

Let's take today as an example! I got up before 7, went back to sleep after 9, and got up for real around 12. Then, I fed my YouTube addiction until after 15. I got ready for a commitment, and got back from it at 20 maybe? Then I went back to YouTube and the news and blah blah blah. Now, it's past 23 again and I'm rushing to write about how I've done nothing that I want to do! That's jeopardizing "every day" commitment on the second day. That's... not what I want!

Starting a hobby seems hard. Keeping to it until it becomes a habit seems even harder! That's why these 39 days (see yesterday's blog) are so important, I want to prove I can form a habit, of at least writing. I hoped (hope?) the pressure of wanting something substantial to write about would get me to start taking on projects in a serious way.

I've wanted to get serious about pursuing for a long time. 'Course, i've never put it on a personal website before! I wonder if it'll be different. IMO some outsider keeping me accountable would be nice, but i haven't had a source of that.

Um, so for tomorrow I don't want to be putting this off until midnight again. I'll start writing in the morning, saying what I'm doing and planning on doing, and I'll keep that record running thru the day. Having that early plan can maybe guide my behaviours? so i can do more? so i can write about it? wagh, i hope so.

Doing stuff, like anything, gives me a huge energy boost! Writing these posts and uploading them counts as anything -- the burst of energy (and maybe adrenaline?) makes it hard for me to sleep -- I was up until ~1:30 after yesterday's post. That's... not what I want! Instead, getting the writing process started earlier might help me try and wrap up sooner.

Oh! Tomorrow, I'd like to blog about my website work. I'd like to roll out the new version of my site, if possible...! And if I wanna continue sadposting like these first two posts, I could talk about "The Wire" -- something very very cheesy.

Goodnight!