5hrs 15 of YT today. uuuugh.

i am major stressed today! my real life obligations MIGHT be getting way way larger, which will eat a lot of time. but everything is so hazy, ill-defined, badly communicated. I have no idea what's happening =^=

i've been on my phone just looking things up, checking to see if i'm missing something -- no, it's just messy. So things might blow up awkwardly on me tomorrow, things might reflect poorly on me tomorrow, i don't know. there's a lot of big things and a lot of little things. And i feel like i'm being swept by the rapids, who don't care if i drown. it's not pleasant!

to myself, 24 hours from now: how are things?!?! are you okay?! is anything changed?! or did it all cancel out, where i'm back to the status quo.

i hope i'm worrying about nothing, but i'm being pulled so many different directions. something ain't right.

goodnight </3