I woke up at 9, got ready for the day, ate breakfast, and then...!

fed my youtube addiction :< and procrastinated a million other ways. My desktop background now cycles between about 20 different Veloren screenshots...

around 23:00, i *started* a little bit with launching krita, but I'm still feeling bad about the pose, the story i want to tell with it. and about what I should do for the background.

importantly, i did *not* screenshare. i got kinda close to doing that, but I thought to myself "I should have more of an idea of what i'm doing before starting!" why would that be good? it wouldn't! I'm just trying to avoid embarrassing myself, but that's not helping me at all.

So tomorrow, I'll be screensharing at 10:00. I'll have to be offline in the afternoon, so i *must* get back online after that. call it 17:00.

hopefully these firmer targets will turn out better. I feel a bit more determined, but there's still this overwhemling sense of apathy, self-loathing, and a little fear that's making this all more difficult than it needs to be. like a self-fulfilling prophecy of passivity. I need to sucker-punch all those feelings ^^;

with combat on the mind,
goodnight!