4hrs 40mins of YT today, see, that's more normal for me. the last few days were lighter than average ^-^

(of course, i wanna cut back on it -- drastically.)

i did nothing at all today, i'm really wracking my brain to think of anything!

i got up around noon, so with around 5 hours of YT that's only 6.5 hours spent on everything else before writing this. I... baked biscuits? so i could eat? I was standing around some people for a long time, that was a big chunk of it. I listened to some music. I read my mastodon feed and checked my rss feed (which is mostly planet kde), and read other news/blogs. Most of what i read is not very profound! some of it is, and i appreciate that :P

but that's all! i wish it wasn't.

the next few days I'll have a lot of uninterrupted time. i have a few tasks, but they can be done at any time. they could eat a whole day if i let them, though...

since i woke up so late, i'm not ready to sleep right now. I could draw? maybe?

i don't know what/how to force myself to do tomorrow. I need to set priorities! but i know what they are -- IRL stuff, then drawing. easy! then the site, and etc etc.

getting myself to act on any of that is a completely different struggle. Like. I'll wake up, get on my phone, go back to bed, get out of bed, use my computer a bit, get breakfast, load up youtube for something to watch while i eat, continue watching YT for a long time, read my mastodon feed, check a bunch of links and blogs and news sites, get lunch, and repeat the cycle until i'm zombified enough to sleep.

there's not anything to break me out of that, unless it's forcing me to go do something urgent but irrelevant like my IRL tasks. so i never do the things i want.

there's supposed to be some internal flame that keeps me pushing onwards. if there's any power coursing through my blood, it sure is latent!

goodnight.