see! this is what I'm talking about. 23:58 when I'm writing this. I don't want past-midnight to become a pattern! or so I say. But I sure am acting like i don't care if i'm late. horrid.

another 3 hours of YT today.

there were things i assumed I had to do. they all fell through. it sure made me waste my time, though!

I frustrate myself. How many times have i said that? i'm sure i come across as very frustrated. i'm sure that reads very clearly.

when does it end :P

it won't unless i take action. but failing to act is the entire problem. the solution space is in a deeper void than the one i'm shouting into right now.

ugh. now i'm deleting paragraphs because they're too much. the void doesn't need to hear it.

If i'm in a tunnel, and there's a light at the end of it, then that tunnel's in a cave. and to leave it i have to crawl, my vessel emaciated, dragging myself by my hands, and passing out constantly of fatigue and dehydration.

i could extend the metaphor but. why. you get it. obstacles and agency and all that.

night. this is so bitter. at least i can smile at that! g'night, again.